Today :)

Today, I returned to the spot where I buried the box. Everything seemed in order, it looked untouched. I burned a purple candle and some sweet grass, blessing the ground and what's buried beneath. Then I placed a rock on top to symbolize a grave. I poured the wax from the candle on the rock, and I left.

I feel good about the makeshift funeral of the crazy part of my life. A burden has been lifted, and I can move on. I love it. Now I am working on the things I have been wanting to work on for a long time:

*HSED. My High School Equivalency Diploma. I have wanted this for a long while now, and I am taking my first of four tests on Tuesday!

*Becoming spiritually right again. I am basically starting over when it comes to my pagan path. I have the same patrons and everything, but it seems pretty impossible to continue on without a review of the basics. When I come to the fork in the road this time, I will be taking another route. One not laced with crazy.

*Writing my novel. I have been wanting to write my novel/novels (it may be a series, I haven't decided yet) for a very long time. I finally have a pretty clear picture of what I want the storyline to look like, and I have started the actual writing.

*Writing my Time book. This is also something I let slip while I was on the wrong path. I can finally get back to my research!

I will leave you with a bit of nonsense:

"Birds of a feather wear the same hats!" -Me

The Grave of the Box

Buried

"Gooood morning, all! Do I smell something a-cooking?" -Carey Bell, So Weird

Yesterday, I spent my Thanksgiving with Kyle, his family, & Papa Murphy's :) it was lovely.

Afterward, Kyle & I went out into the woods to bury the box. The box is filled to the brim with everything paranormal & pagan that I am letting go of. Kyle was sweet enough to dig the hole for me, even though he was tired. (<3)

According to Ann Moura's calender of pagan events, yesterday was the Festival of Diana (goddess of the moon and the hunt), and I consider that a good night to have buried the box! I silently asked Diana to bless and protect the box & the site at which we buried it. 

I have always heard that evil cannot cross bridges or bodies of water, so crossing the bridge to go back home felt sort of like a symbolic "leaving the evil and crazy behind."

I am not sure yet how to feel about the spot where we buried the box, or how to treat it. Right now, it does feel like an "evil," kind of a bad place. But when I think about it, it should be a good place eventually. It symbolizes my new life, moving on from the crazy stuff. But for now, I'm wary & keeping my distance. Hopefully soon I will go down there and test the waters, see how it feels.

For now, I leave you with a poem I wrote about the box itself.

The Box

There is a box that lies among the dead,
For we bury things when they die.
Inside, a final resting bed,
Of spiritual balance gone awry.
A darkness slinked into my mind,
Amid creatures pulled from time.
Within delusions, I was entwined,
Of phantoms terrifying and sublime.

Something’s pulled me from it now,
What, I’ll never know.
But I thank the Gods, and I bow,
For giving me tomorrow.
My faith hasn’t faltered,
Not notably, in fact,
All that has been altered,
Is my sanity’s intact!

Be Seeing You,
Æ

Alive in the Night

Last night, I sat on the back deck with my mom. We talked and drank peppermint hot chocolate. While I was outside, I became very aware of the fact that I am alive. The temperature was brisk - chilly, but not too cold; the scent of fresh pizza was traveling on the air up toward us from the pizza place down the street & around the corner; and the night sky! Oh my, what a sky it was.

I'm not very good with constellations, so I'm not sure which one I was looking at. It pretty much looked like a big square of stars in the sky. The night was so clear, there wasn't a cloud to obscure my view of the stars. Airplanes flew in the direction of the constellation, and as they disappeared into the night, it looked in perspective as though they were flying off into space, through the middle of the constellation. It was fantastic. 

Everything seemed so vibrant, and I really did feel more alive than ever. This is just another thing to add to the list of positive vibes and enlightenment I've been feeling over the past few days, and I wanted to share it here. Happy Turkey Day! <3


Be Seeing You,


Æ

Picture of the night sky found on google. Not my photo.

 

Realizations, Resolutions, & Rituals

15 Days ago, I posted to this blog that I was having a spiritual crisis of sorts. A few things have changed since then.

At one point, I was considering dropping paganism completely. Luckily, I had someone there for me who wouldn't let me. He told me that I wouldn't be myself if I did that. He was right, as he so often is about me.

However, there are parts of my life that center around the paranormal that I am letting go of. Mainly the paranormal which so happened to leak into my spirituality. Of course, I still believe in spirits and energies, the power of the elements, etc. My basic belief structure remains the same, it's mainly the crazy things that I will drift away from.

I have a box that some friends of mine and I were going to bury a poppet in a couple of years ago. We never did the burial because something went wrong, as per usual. This box now contains a great number of things that connect to the spiritual and supernatural parts of my life that I no longer connect with. Sometime in the next few nights, I will be going out with someone to bury the box.

For me, this is a ritual burial. It's a chance to bury my old life to make way for the future that I have ahead of me. These past 2 weeks, I have been hit with many realizations about life, my life, and the changes that I am facing now. I suppose that this box is a symbol of "putting away childish things," quoting Frik from Merlin.

I will probably be posting more often on this blog again, as I have my internet at home back. For now, I say goodnight.

Be Seeing You,
Æ

The Box - a Vans box may be cheesy, but it's effective! The
circle is made up of poppy seeds.

An Unhappy Realization

Lately, I seem to have lost a large part of my faith. I still have the same belief system, but paganism as a whole seems lost to me. I hate this, because I have been practicing paganism since I was 13 years old and it is very important to me. I don't really know why this has happened, but I could really use some spiritual guidance right now.

A Beautiful Day

A Poem By Anne Showers-Curtis - May 18, 2012

Held up on high, an example for the people. 

The "crimes" of my faith spilled for the sight of the village. 

As  if blood from my body were a page from my book, a spell cast for the benefit of death, the people watched in awe. 

As my head hung in dizziness, my eye caught the large, rusted nails that held me to this old rugged slab of wood. 

Piercing straight through my upper arms, they glistened as the wine of my life poured like a fountain around them. 

But I could feel the wind on my face. I could smell the salt of the sea. I could see the green of the earth around me, and I began to feel the lick of the flames at my feet. 

They thought this the death of my spirit. They thought this the death of the craft that they so feared. 

But they sent me to the sky.

A ceremonious exit of this living form, surrounded by the elements of my faith. 

As the flames grew higher, I looked into the blue sky & whispered "it's a beautiful day..." 

My Vernal Equinox/The Cauldron of Memory

Yesterday was the Vernal Equinox! I had a great one. I went for a 3 mile walk in search of a casting space. I went down near a creek I used to hang out at as a kid and I think I found the place I want to cast at. However, I'm going to check out the creek at a park in town as well. I've been looking for a casting area near a creek for a while now, as I have a few rituals/spells that require one. Also, I've always felt strongest and most open to the world and the Universal Power when near a rushing creek.

I also discovered a book yesterday that is a breakthrough in my research. Raven Grimassi is a respected Pagan author who I have heard of many times, but I have never had the chance read any of his books. This is soon changing as his book The Cauldron of Memory is number one on my Need-to-Read list. The book is all about retrieving ancestral knowledge from the past through pathworking and other methods to bring the past to you, rather than traveling to the past yourself. I cannot wait to get a copy of this book! I haven't been this excited about a book since The Deathly Hallows midnight release.

I ended my Vernal Equinox with a nice Fire Divination session with 2 of my casting buddies! :) It was pretty interesting. We'd never tried a Fire Divination before, and it was successful. We used methods out of the book Natural Magick by Sally Dubats.

I haven't been updating this as much as I'd like to recently, but I thought I would write a post for the Equinox! I'm off to the sunshine! <3

Be Seeing You,

-Anouchka